Here’s to All The Fucks I Give

There’s been a series increase in the amount of dumb fucks out there.  I could careless about political sides, vegan vs. meat eaters or anything else.  I’m talking about the pure stupidity of people in general and almost everything in between.  Last week was the final breaking point for me when this stupid, stupid person who clearly has helicopter parents approached my friend and I while we were taking a break from watching the Iowa Caucus.

here's to all the fucks I give ecard [Read more…]

I Put the “Hard On” in Chardonnay

The other day my friends and I were having a talk about our partners, sex and of course wine.  That’s when it hit me, did you know that there’s always a hard on in chardonnay?  Seriously…not because it can make you horny, but the words actually appear in the middle of the varietal.  (More chardonnay and hardon ecards below).

I put the hardon in chardonnay

Look at the letters in the word and you’ll see it. C H A R D O N N A Y.  After the c and before the nay you’ll find the hard on every day.  Ok, I’m having way to much fun with this,,,especially because it’s freezing out and I rarely drink white wines during winter…unless I’m at the beach or somewhere warm.   [Read more…]

Chicken & Steak Are Vegetarian Ecard – Love This!

The other day my friend called and asked if he could bring his new boyfriend to dinner.  Of course I’d love to meet his boyfriend so I said sure.  Then they dropped the bombshell,,,he’s a fucking vegetarian.  That’s where the inspiration for this ecard came from.

chicken and steak vegetarian ecard Look, I have no problem with alternative lifestyles as long as they don’t affect me.  One thing to remember is that being vegetarian is a choice and don’t you push that shit on me.  Allergies you cannot help, being vegetarian you can.  Go ahead and eat veggies in public,,,I can ignore it.  To come into my home and [Read more…]

The Bottle is Made of Glass – Wine eCard

bottle is made of glass wine ecard

The other day I was binge watching my favorite TV shows and my friend calls and asks if they can join.  When he asked what I was doing, I said having a glass of wine.  When he finally got here he saw I was drinking from the bottle.

He looked puzzled and all I could say was, the bottle is technically made of glass.  After realizing that [Read more…]

Meaning of Fuck as a Verb TShirt

The word fuck is easily arguable as one of the most versatile words in the English language.  Think about it like a bisexual male pornstar.  He can be fucked, he can fuck, he can always need to be the fucking center of attention and he can be found fucking or fucking around.  Much like him, the word fuck can be a noun, verb, adjective, etc…. It can basically be used almost any way, but the most common might be the verb form of the word fuck.

If you suck at grammar (like I do), this helpful tshirt will help you remember how to use the word fuck as a verb.  Click here to buy this shirt or click the link below.

fuck as a verb tshirt

The image of the Fuck as a verb tshirtis from the amazon affiliate program.

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The Fuck It Button – Love This!

I love this!  It’s the Fuck It button for your desk, work or just because you want to say Fuck It!  Much like the Looks Like It’s Time for Fuck This Shit O’Clock coffee mug, this is the perfect gift for an office mate or friend that wants to say fuck it.

Maybe they have an asshole boss or you guys have a co-worker that is a lazy piece of shit, maybe your friend or office mate just likes to swear or has a great sense of humor.  Either way, the Fuck It button is the perfect alternative to those boring WTF moments at work.  When you have to redo something and then redo it back to the original format, stay late because someone else didn’t do their job, etc…  Click the image below to buy this button for those moments.

fuck it button

The The FuckIt Button
photo is from the amazon affiliate program.

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The Looks Like It’s Fuck This Shit O’Clock Mug

Work can be fucking bullshit…well not work, but everything at work, including neighbors who chew gum or snort, assholes that ask for ridiculous favors after a deadline or requests like “can you please move your car” while you’re on a call….  Ya, fuck you asshole, let me interrupt this call so I can do something trivial that has zero meaning and will take away from all productivity.  Of course and fuck you too!

That’s why we have the “Looks Like It’s Fuck This Shit O’Clock” coffee mug.  Click the previous link or image below to buy it from our third party partner.

looks like it's fuck this shit o'clock coffee mug

Image from the amazon affiliate program

Coffee gives you a break from the boring things at work.  It is also the thing that you need when others can’t get their shit together.  From working weekends because others are incompetent to having to redo all of your work only to have your boss ask you to redo it the way you had it the first time.  The only relief you can get is to either quit your job and put yourself in a bad situation, or buy the Looks Like It’s Fuck This Shit O’Clock coffee mug so at least you can have a laugh before you have to do more work…again.

Whether’s it’s that asshole boss needing a report last thing on Friday while he leaves to go play golf or cheat on his wife while piss ass drunk at the bar, or that useless co-worker that gets away with doing nothing because they know you’ll do it for them anyways, the Looks Like It’s Fuck This Shit O’Clock coffee mug is the right one for you.  Click the links above or the image if you want to buy this cup and instead of flipping out the next time someone asks for a Fuck This Shit favor, you can grab your glass and finish the project with a laugh.

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Fuck Off Socks

These are clearly one of my favorite products.  I don’t wear socks often, but when I do I like to make a statement.  Usually that statement is fuck off or fuck you since I’m either heading to the gym or a work event.  Although I don’t own these socks that say “Fuck Off”, I can easily see them becoming a staple for my footwear wardrobe when I have to put on socks for business meetings, etc…

What easier way to piss off that bitch at the office or the uptight person your friend is dating than by rolling up your pant leg or crossing them so the words Fuck Off quietly appear to them?  In a perfect world you could also add his or her name, maybe a nice descriptive word like the “C” one or a simple “Bitch” after the words “Fuck Off”,,,but hey, sometimes a simple fuck off is enough to get your point across and these socks are the perfect way to do it.

fuck off socks

image from the amazon affiliate program.

[Read more…]

Fuck You – Here’s a Present Gift Bag

Let’s face it, if you want to give a fuck, what better way to do it than with a gift bag that says Here’s Your Fucking Present? Sure it would be better if it said a simple Fuck You, but by adding “here’s a present” it really adds that extra special something to let asshole know you really didn’t want to shop for them.  You could try “congradufuckinglations” when they graduate school, or something similar, but why bother when there’s this simple and fabulous option already make for you.

You can buy the “Fuck You Here’s Your Present gift bag” by clicking on the previous link or the image below.

fuck you here's your gift bag

image from the amazon affiliate program.

 

So when and how can you use this gift bag?  Simple, anytime you really don’t actually like someone, don’t care about them and also on those occassions where you’re forced to buy something because you have to.  This could be an ex getting married, a friend who bitches about treating you to drinks one night or even that whiney person who always complains nobody buys them anything for Valentine’s Day.  This bag comes in handy for so many occasions.

If you want a fun idea for presenting it to the person who you had to buy a gift for, instead of placing the gift bag on the gift table, try placing it inside a box filled with packing peanuts so that they have to actually lift the bag out of it and show it to everyone in the room.  By the time they’ve realized what it says, it’ll be too late to hide…which is why you want to make it a surprise.  It’s the perfect way to let that asshole know you really didn’t appreciate that they required a gift when you clearly could give a fuck less.  If you do it right, you probably won’t be required to buy another, if they ever invite you back again which is the point of using this gift bag anyways.  Then again, if you’re giving them a gift in this gift bag, chances are you weren’t planning on seeing them again anyways.

Click the image above or any of the text links in this blog post to buy the Fuck You Here’s a Present gift bag and feel free to leave your own fun way to use it to surprise the person you have to buy a gift for.

The Go Fuck Yourself Hashtag T Shirt #GoFuckYourself

Looking for a way to photobomb those obnixious selfie people in your way?  It’s the go fuck yourself hashtag t shirt.  This fabulous fashion accessory is always awesome to wear in crowds, especially if you want to make a selfie photobomb special.  Simply line yourself up behind them, hold your shirt up high and hopefully they’ll learn to quit blocking the sidewalks or hogging tourist areas with their obnoxious selfies.

So where else can you wear this shirt?

Weddings:  There’s that bitch ex whose getting married and sends you an invite.  What better photo bomb than lifting up your dress attire and showing a Go Fuck Yourselfie T Shirt in his or her favorite wedding shots.

Work: Have an asshole co-worker that’s easily offended?  Wear this bad boy under your shirt and show it off at the right opportunity.  Let’s see HR get away with asking you to take your clothes off….(ok this work example is actually pretty stupid and you shouldn’t do it since you’ll probably get fired.  You could make the argument you didn’t say go fuck yourself since it is about a selfie, but the word fuck and intent will probably be enough to fire you).

How about those asshole friends that only post fun, sweet and happy pictures to their social media sites because they don’t want anyone to really see that they’re chain smoking, binge drinking fucking prostitutes.  This is the perfect shirt to photo bomb in when they’re lit and thinking they’ll get a great shot.  Not so fun to wake up to the Go Fuck Yourselfie Hashtag Tshirt in the morning.

There’s almost no limits to where this tshirt can be worn.  Think about where tourists and other people annoy you with selfies.  Now simply lift up your overshirt to reveal this one and get in their photo for the perfect photobomb.  Click the links or images above to find our third party partner that sells the Go Fuck Yourselfie tshirt.  Then come back here often for more gifts to tell someone to go fuck themselves.  Also, feel free to share this post on your friend’s facebook timelines whenever you get tired of them posting selfie after selfie after selfie.